It is amazing the preconceived notions men and women have about sex, and how much they differ.
How do you bring up the topic of wanting sex?
A quick self-evaluation will aid in determining the sexual availability of your partner.
Take just a moment and think back to your last conversation about sex. Is one partner the only one trying to initiate sex? Do you use excuses to relate your sexual availability or lack thereof?
Take the temperature of your last words about sex. Was there an attitude? Anger? Or, in a perfect world, the anticipation game, with exciting innuendos, notes or brief texts throughout the day? Even if you are in the same house at that time?
We focus on sexual dysfunction, relationship issues and the psychological issues associated with these topics. We have received feedback from several male subscribers that asked us to direct some of our future articles to show male as well as female perspective to the issues we are covering.
As a result of these requests, we asked for and graciously received permission to use a blog article from Gregory Douglas, LMHC, with Douglas Consulting in Boynton Beach, Florida. We believe that Mr. Douglas brings a fresh direction to mental health counseling with his very informative blog.
Here is a little information about Greg:
Greg Douglas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who specializes in couples counseling, relationship counseling, men's counseling, and affair recovery and specifically treats the following issues: Relationship issues, Self-Esteem, Attachment issues, Confidence, Anger, and Men's issues. Greg has undergone advanced training in several therapy techniques including EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), Solution Focused Therapy, and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Greg’s philosophy when working with couples highlights the negative pattern that couples become stuck in that cause conflict and disconnection.
According to Gregory Douglas, LMHC, of Douglas Counseling, in his article How Your Man Views Sex (and Why It Matters to You):
“Having regular sex reassures men that their partner is connected to them, and this allows men to feel closer, share more emotionally, and be more responsive to their partner. Aren’t these things what most women are looking for from their partner?"
Mr. Douglas further states:
“I can’t tell you how many times I have heard women pleading for their man to “talk to me more about his feelings” or “let me in so that I can feel close." The rub is that men need to feel connected and safe to become vulnerable enough to share their thoughts and feelings, but can’t get there if they feel disconnected! If having a healthy sex life promotes emotional sharing, more attentiveness, and more responsiveness from your man, what’s the downside?"
We have to make our partner a priority, taking the time to see if your partner’s needs are being met.
Mr. Douglas also does a great job of describing a male versus female perspective on sex and intimacy, emphasizing how difficult it is for men to openly express their thoughts and feelings.
He concludes with the advice to open a dialogue about how each of you views sex. This can go a long way toward helping you understand one another better. This is also open up the door for a healthier and more mutually beneficial sex life.
Thanks again to Mr. Douglas for sharing with us, and we hope to work with him again in the future.