Do you demand help with the chores? Or, do you split duties equally to keep peace and harmony?
Do you and your spouse work as a team?
How do you communicate with your spouse if a change in routine is required? Or like many people, do you absorb the change in routine or responsibilities yourself but feel resentful about it?
“I like hugs. I like kisses. But What I Really Love is Help with the Dishes.”
According to a 2007 Pew Research Poll,“Sharing household chores” now ranks third in importance to faithfulness and a happy sexual relationship.
Source: "As Marriage and Parenthood Drift Apart Public is Concerned About Social Impact." Pew Research Center, Washington, D.C. (July 1, 2007). http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2007/07/01/as-marriage-and-parenthood-drift-apart-public-is-concerned-about-social-impact/
Because my spouse knows me so well, he also knows I HATE to vacuum. I never ask him, but he added this chore to all of the other things he does for me. Not only am I appreciative, there is always a SPECIAL reward for his constant consideration. He now looks forward to his surprises. The best part is that my house has never been so clean
The Atlantic published an article entitled “The Difference Between a Happy Marriage and Miserable One: Chores" which can be viewed here.
The article is on point. Teamwork and a clear division of labor is vital to maintaining mutual respect.
According to The Atlantic, “Couples that established a shared understanding of their respective responsibilities were less likely to monitor and critique each other’s behavior”.
Many couples have yet to establish routines. Having to do these things daily add to already increased stress levels.
If you find yourself getting aggravated or frustrated with the current delegation of household duties, it may be time to have a talk and change what is not working or could be improved.
Circumstances change. We need to adapt and re-negotiate when necessary. That is part of being a winning team!
Defining priorities will also help you understand how your partner views certain tasks. We all have a pet peeve. Remember to compromise.
For more information on this, see our previous post “Make Your Partner a High Priority."