Welcome to our "Snuggle Sunday" Q & A series, where our blog authors respond to frequently asked questions and offer advice.
Editor’s Note: To date, we have not centered any articles around comments or letters received from our customers/subscribers. We receive a lot of feedback on Sundays compared to the rest of the week and we felt compelled to respond to this particular letter sent to us via snail mail.
We are keeping his name and address anonymous for privacy concerns.
Dear Le Snuggle:
I have corresponded with you before and I appreciate your responses, as well as the links to various articles. But now I am reaching out due to desperation. I feel if something does not change immediately, I am going to lose my husband.
I have worked on intimacy, communication, date nights, my body (exercising, Kegels, diets, etc.), and I still have not been able to change my very low libido. What is wrong with me? I love my husband. What is HSDD? My husband wants me to use the female version of Viagra. Does your team recommend this after everything else we have tried has been unsuccessful? Is it safe? He is really pushing me to try this option.
At this point, I will take any advice to save my marriage, but my health is important also. Help!
Thank you for reaching out again. We will try to provide information regarding your specific questions.
Prior to doing that, here are a few items for you to consider that we suggested in prior emails.
Have you had a complete medical examination to discuss your low libido? It is important to rule out any underlying health issues that could be contributing to your sexual dysfunction.
We do not have access to your medical history, so we do not have the ability to know what medical conditions you have or, any medications you use to manage your conditions. Are you aware that medications such as those for high blood pressure or hormones can cause a change in your libido? Your doctor can determine if you have or suspect you have HSDD. Your husband may suspect this is what you have, but please defer to the experts!
We understand your frustration. Previously, we suggested that if after ensuring your communication placed you both on the same page and you still could not come to a place of mutual understanding, to reach out to a professional counselor or sexual therapist.
This frustration may be causing depression or other psychological symptoms that can contribute to a decrease in libido. Reaching out for assistance is a sign of strength and bravery. These important issues need to be addressed PRIOR to trying a serious medication that may have side effects you are not prepared to deal with.
HSDD is hypoactive sexual desire disorder. According to the National Library of Medicine:
“Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is a deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity that causes marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.”
As we suggested to our subscriber, there are many factors that can contribute to a loss of libido. Here are a few that you need to take into consideration:
- We have been in a life-altering pandemic Most of us have experienced stress and anxiety in the last year. And it is not over yet. Only improved somewhat.
- Medications are a frequent culprit when it comes to affecting our sexuality.
- Hormonal changes caused by pre or post menopause, childbearing or surgeries can alter or lower our libido.
- Unresolved relationship/trust issues, resentment or lack of communication can also be contributory factors.
- Diagnosed or undiagnosed psychological conditions including sexual trauma may be factors as well.
If you have ruled out the obvious and common sense solutions to your low sexual desire, reach out to your physician for a complete examination and a candid discussion.
Ladies, we know from the vast amount of mail we receive that a candid discussion about sex and sexual dysfunction is a terribly difficult subject to broach. Many times, this will cause avoidance from addressing this serious issue.
You can review our previous articles on how to communicate with your doctor below:
Your doctor will listen and determine if blood work needs to be performed to check your hormone levels. If your levels are low, the doctor may recommend estrogen therapy. This may be in the form of a cream, suppository or ring that will release estrogen to the vagina.
There are two medications that are both approved by the FDA for use to boost libido in women with low sexual desire. Those two medications are Addyi and Vyleesi.
WARNING: Do your homework. These drugs are not for everyone as they both can cause significant side effects. Some of these side effects include nausea, dizziness, fainting, low blood pressure, darkening of the skin, congestion and fatigue to name a few.
Further, these medications are administered by auto injections. Many are non-insurance reimbursable, and there is no generic substitute.
It should also be noted that these drugs can interfere with your current medications and particularly, hormonal contraceptives. They are also contraindicated with alcohol use.
A decision between you and your physician as to whether the benefits outweigh the risks should be a major part of your candid discussion.
According to Healthline:
“Lifestyle changes could also relieve stress and help improve a woman’s libido. These include:
- exercising regularly
- setting aside time for intimacy
- sexual experimentation (such as different positions, role-playing, or sex toys)
- avoiding substances that affect sexual desire, like tobacco and alcohol
- practicing stress-relieving techniques, such as mindfulness-based interventions.
Female sexual dysfunction is more difficult to treat that erectile dysfunction. Sexual desire disorders are hard to diagnose because what is considered normal?
When we created Le Snuggle, it was because there were no other viable or safe alternatives to correct vaginal laxity. What was considered too loose? Were Kegels the only alternative to vaginal rejuvenation surgery?
We empathize with this subscriber and the many other women looking to increase the level of their sexual desire. Anything that affects your sexual well-being is important and deserves to be addressed!
If you feel that your lack of desire is impacting your quality of life as well as your relationship, speak to your doctor as soon as possible. You may find out there is a treatment solution for your problem. At the very least, you will be given steps to take to find a path that returns you to a healthy, happy and sexually satisfying life.
For more information, reference the International Society for Sexual Medicine.